Cath
by megheartryan
Summary: Leon loved Cloud with all his heart, but kept it to himself for fear of ruining their friendship. Now that Cloud's being taken from him by someone else, what should he do?


**Author's Note**: This story was inspired by Death Cab for Cutie's song 'Cath' from their new CD. Their songs often inspire me to write things (though, this is the first time it's been fan fiction), and since getting said CD, I'll probably get the urge to write even more stories. :3

I have no idea why this particular pairing struck me for this, but meh, it happened. I'm not sure I like how it turned out; it sounded much better in my head. Not to mention this is the first fic I've written in _years_, literally. It's also 3:00 a.m. and my punctuation is probably horrible. So..be gentle?

Unfortunately (and yes, it is most unfortunate for me), I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Death Cab for Cutie, or any of the characters in this story. Darn.

**Pairing**: not-quite-there Leon/Cloud and Cloud/Tifa. Side (and very small) Riku/Sora, Axel/Roxas, and Zexion/Demyx (because I can't for the life of me stay away from those 3 couples)

Leon poured himself another cup of punch from the crystal bowl on the table in front of him, eyes taking in his all-too-festive surroundings. All around him couples were dancing, talking, laughing, while he simply stood alone. He always felt awkward at social gatherings - never one to talk much or associate with people other than those he held dear.

But this gathering was particulary..uncomfortable. When one's love interest ('Soul Mate', Leon corrected himself inwardly) and best friend was currently celebrating his marriage to his childhood friend, well..let's just say it certainly wasn't the happiest moment in Leon's life.

The reception was beautiful. White lilies and roses decorated the room, the lighting was dim with only candles illuminating the entire space, and a band played a soft melody in the background. Everything looked so..perfect. Leon scowled, without even realizing he was doing so, and tossed back his drink.

It had all happened only a month ago, the day his life would change forever.

Cloud had visited Leon's house like he did every night, and plopped himself onto the couch next to his brown-haired best friend. He didn't say a word. He tilted his face towards the carpet, looking a little too interested in the green flooring beneath his feet. It only took Leon a span of about 5 seconds to realize something wasn't right.

Granted, Cloud was definitely _not _the most talkative or extroverted person in the world - in fact he was far from it - but when one has been friends with said blonde so long, it becomes quite a bit easier to decipher his small facial expressions and gestures.

"You ok?" Leon questioned, eyes fixed firmly on his friend's slouched figure.

Cloud was silent a moment before sighing, "I..Tifa." he replied, never once taking his bright blue eyes away from that interesting something on the ground.

Leon arched an eyebrow questioningly. "You realize what you just said made no sense, right?"

Cloud rolled his eyes, a gesture Leon must have seen thousands of times in the span of their friendship. "I know. Look, you know how I've been..looking for someone? Someone to spend the rest of my life with. Well, I.." He struggled to find the words before clearing his throat and continuing. "I talked to Tifa today. After her breakup with Laguna she said she'd finally been able to see what her feelings for..me were."

Leon felt something in his chest clench a little. Tifa. _Tifa. _Of all things he'd expected Cloud to say about her, this was not it, and he certainly did **not** want to hear her name in _this_ context. Even after hearing so few words on the matter, Leon was pretty sure he understood the general direction this conversation was heading, and he didn't like it.

Sure, Tifa was a good person. A great person, actually. She was beautiful, caring, and radiant. She had always been nothing but sweet to Leon everytime they had been around each other. She'd been there for Cloud through so much and always took pleasure in helping others. Yes, she had all the makings of a wonderful person. Despite all that, this..this wasn't at all what he'd wanted to hear. In fact, at the moment he felt like he'd rather have heard anyone else's name.

Tifa had been Cloud's friend longer than anyone else. They had met when they were only children, about 5 years old. They grew up together and spent almost all of their time together. They went to the same school, they were in the same clubs together, and almost every moment they weren't in school, they spent it with each other.  
Even to this day, they spent quite a bit of their time together.

Though, a good portion of Cloud's time was spent with Leon after they'd met three years ago in college. They'd become close fairly quick which was saying something. Neither men were very open, but upon meeting and realizing how much they'd had in common it had felt only too natural to spend so much time together.

Thus had begun the most meaningful relationship Leon had ever had in his entire life. It was only friendship, but that's all Leon needed it to be if that's what kept Cloud happy.

He wasn't quite sure when he'd fallen in love with Cloud, but he knew it was sometime between seeing the blonde's eyes and saying hello to him a few moments later after Reno had introduced them. After that day, Leon had tried his hardest to be the best friend to Cloud that he could, knowing that he could never be anything more. He'd never once considered confessing his feelings, if only to keep the other happy. Cloud had never expressed any interest in men, anyway. In all honesty, he'd never really expressed an interest in women either, but Leon felt it unwise to assume he preferred the former.

All he knew, or cared about at the moment, was that his best friend and the love of his life was being ripped away from him by someone who he knew had no ill-intentions.

"She..really?" Leon said weakly, his mouth feeling dry.

Cloud stared even more intently at the ground before answering, "Yeah. She, uh..She said after being with Laguna so long they'd both realized that it was a relationship that was only there for comfort. That they had been scared to be alone. I definitely can't blame her, I know the feeling," he laughed quietly, but the sound wasn't at all happy. "She said she didn't know why she didn't see before what I meant to her. She..told me she loved me. She said she'd been thinking about it since they'd broken up. She told me she wanted to marry me," he raised his eyes to meet his friend's before finishing. "I said yes."

If Leon had any less self-control he would jumped up, shouting at Cloud about how this was the worst decision he could have made. One that shouldn't have even been given a second thought, let alone followed through with.

But Leon _did _have self-control, and he loved his best friend with all of his heart and more. He wanted nothing more than for Cloud to be happy, and if Tifa could give him that, no matter how bad _he _wanted to be the person that made Cloud happy, he wouldn't chance ruining this.

And the worst part of it all? It actually _sounded_ like it was a perfect idea, and Leon knew that.

But _sounding_ like a perfect idea and actually _being_ a perfect idea were two completely different things.  
Everyone else would smile and give genuine congratulations to them, thinking that these two childhood friends finally realizing their love for each other and making a life together was a beautiful thing.

Leon, on the other hand, knew this wasn't right. There was no way this was the decision Cloud should make. Tifa had just gotten out of a four year relationship a couple of months ago, this was no time to be thinking of marrying someone else.

He knew for a fact that Cloud only cared for Tifa as a friend. Cloud had never said a single thing that had lead Leon to believe he was in love with Tifa. No, all the feelings Cloud had every shown for Tifa were platonic, and nothing more. At least, that's what Leon had always thought.

Even so, no matter how many reasons he could think of why this would be wrong, he could not bring himself to tell his friend any of this.

"Wow..congratulations, man. I'm really..happy..for you." Leon felt his heart break a little, but did his best to stay composed, all the while plastering a smile on his face.

Cloud continued to stare at his brown-haired friend a moment before responding. "Really? Well, that's good. I mean, great. That you're..happy for me, I mean."

Cloud had left only minutes later, saying he needed to go home to check on his younger brothers.

Leon sat on his couch in silence for what may have been hours before he felt himself break a little, and for the first time in years, he cried.

Remembering all this did nothing to soothe his current state, standing alone at a table drinking punch cup after cup, and all the while feeling more empty than he had in his whole life.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the two teenagers who appeared next to him.

"Hiya, Leon! Why are you over here by yourself?" a boy with very spiky brown hair asked curiously, tilting his head sideways.

A taller, silver-haired boy wrapped his arm accross the younger boy's shoulders before adding, "Yeah, you _are_ the groom's best friend, shouldn't you be over there congratulating them?"

Leon sighed, "Hi Sora, Riku. I was just getting ready to head over to them, actually."

"You'd better hurry up before Axel gets to them. He's totally wasted! Roxas has been trying to subdue him for the past half hour, with no luck. He said he wants to give the happy couple a little 'surprise dance' as a gift." Sora grinned before taking Riku's hand in his own.

"Ugh, speak of the devil." Riku glanced behind them to a quite obviously drunk Axel, and a thoroughly annoyed Roxas.

"Axel! Come on, it's time to go - fireworks, remember? We bought fireworks to set off after the wedding!" Roxas all but pleaded, pulling his taller, lanky boyfriend towards the door and away from a flabbergasted Tifa.

"Fireworks!?" Axel exclaimed, eyes going wide. "Why didn't you say that sooner? Let's go!" And with that, a blur of yellow and red sped past them through the door.

Leon took his eyes away from the doorway and focused his attention to the young couple in front of him, "You know, Sora - Cloud is lucky to have you and Roxas as brothers, but I have to wonder about Roxas' choice of a partner sometimes. Please try to keep Axel away from Cloud's house tonight, ok? I don't think it would be a good welcoming home present from his honeymoon to have his house burned to the ground."

Sora giggled, "Don't worry, we will!" And with a peck on Riku's cheek he bounded off, boyfriend in tow, to talk with a red-haired girl standing near by.

Leon sighed yet again, probably for the thirtieth time that day, and made his way towards his best friend. He didn't make it far before a hand grasped his shoulder, causing him to turn around.

"Oh hello, Zexion. Hello, Demyx." Leon said simply, almost glad for the excuse to put off talking to Cloud and Tifa for a little longer.

"Hello, Leon. How are you?" Zexion asked, snaking his arm around the taller, blonde-haired boy standing next to him.

"I'm..great, thanks. How about you two? I haven't seen you in a while."

"We're doing great!" Demyx beamed dropping a small kiss on Zexion's lips, "We moved in together last week!"

Leon smiled at him, "That's great, guys. Congratulations."

The last word reminded Leon of what his purpose of walking across the room had been in the first place. After a conversation with the two that was probably way too short, he gave a short nod and a wave to Zexion and Demyx before walking towards where Cloud and Tifa were seated.

They looked..great together.

Tifa was the most beautiful bride Leon had ever seen and Cloud looked almost unbearably handsome, so much so that it hurt.

He reached the table where they were seated together, and Tifa gave him a charming smile.

"Leon, thank you so much for coming, and for being Cloud's best man. It means so much to both of us!." She beamed at him, looking more beautiful than ever.

"It's no problem. Cloud's my best friend and I'm very happy for the two of you." Leon somehow managed a smile, and thanked his face inwardly for not betraying his true feelings.

Cloud had been talking to his friend Cid, but once he left, turned to join the conversation.

"Hey, Leon. Thanks again for coming. I really appreciate it," he gave Leon a small smile before continuing. "Come with me to get some punch, I'm so thirsty!"

Leon smiled back at his friend. After Cloud got around to Leon's side of the table they began walking towards the spot Leon had spent most of the evening.

"You know, it all almost seems surreal." Cloud said, looking around the room, then casting a sideways glance at his friend.

"Yeah, it does. It really does." Leon agreed. In fact, he was quite sure he'd never agreed _more_ with a statement than that one. This all did seem surreal. It felt like a dream he wasn't going to wake up from. Not a nightmare, it couldn't be a nightmare if Cloud was happy.

By the time he'd finished his thoughts they'd reached the drink table.

They both grabbed glasses of punch, and Leon drank his in silence. He couldn't help but stare at Cloud, he looked absolutely gorgeous. Leon was sure he was more beautiful today than ever.

"I hope everything works out for you two, you know." He paused a little before going on, drinking in all of Cloud's features, "Well, I'm sure it will. I just..really hope that you can live the happiest life possible. You both deserve it.Really." Even though he would have normally felt somewhat embarassed at saying such a thing, he didn't break his eye contact with his friend. He couldn't.

Cloud smiled, almost sadly, "Thank you. I appreciate that coming from you," he looked back into his friends eyes, that were intently fixed on his own. "You know, there's something I've always wanted to tell you. I know it's weird to tell you now..It's silly, really.." A fair amount of time passed before Leon realized Cloud wasn't continuing.

Leon forced a laugh that for some reason sounded a little strangled. "What's that?"

"I..you know, I've never been someone who can express my feelings. Hell, most of the time I don't think I even _understand_ my feelings. But, there's something I've always wanted to tell you," He repeated, but this time he continued. "You've been there for me through absolutely everything the past three years. I've never really thanked you for that. You were there for me when my mother passed away, were there for me every time I was sick, or every time I just needed someone to talk to," Cloud took the moment to look at Leon and give him a most genuine smile before continuing. "I value your friendship more than anyone's in this world. And I..I think sometimes I valued it so much that I was afraid of doing anything to distance you.." he trailed off, finally tearing his eyes away from Leon's to look at the ground.

Leon felt his eyes widen, and wondered where in the world this conversation could be going.

Cloud began again, eyes still fixated on the floor, "I..I loved you. I cared for you so much, and I know it's weird and I knew you didn't feel the same way. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to push you away from me, but if I didn't get it off my chest and let you know I would have regretted it forever. So, I'm really sorry, and I hope this doesn't change anything between us. You're still my best friend." Cloud finally brought his eyes back to Leon's, only to see something that resembled confusion there.

"You.." Leon couldn't even finish the sentence. There were so many emotions and thoughts swirling inside of him he didn't know what to say or think.

Cloud's face looked anxious, scared even. "I'm sorry, I knew I..I shouldn't have..Please don't be angry with me, I -"

Cloud never finished his sentence. Leon had wrapped his arms firmly around Cloud in a hug that felt as though he'd never let him go.

"Don't _ever_ be sorry for anything, Cloud. You are my best friend in this whole world, and I care about you more than you know. I need you and there's no way I'd _ever _drift away from you." Leon squeezed him a little tighter before letting him go so he could look into his eyes. He was surprised to see tears there.

Leon had no idea if Cloud still held these feelings for him, or if it was simply a confession of what he'd felt before, but he knew that no matter what he would do the right thing. The thing that would make Cloud happy.

"You have a wife to be with right now, and you have a best friend who'll be here for you forever. You deserve to be happy." And Leon gave what had to have been the most painful smile he'd ever given.

Cloud smiled back at him, "Thank you, Leon. It means the world." He hugged Leon once more, then turned and walked away.

Once Cloud had taken his seat at his table beside his beautiful new wife, and once Leon was sure no one would hear, he said the one thing he'd wanted to tell Cloud all along, since the day he'd met him. The one thing he hadn't told him because he knew he was on his way to a happy future. The one thing in the world that he knew was complete and absolute truth,

"I love you, too."

**Author's Note: **I've never been one for writing sad endings, so this one actually surprised me. I thought of maybe continuing it and seeing where it went from there, to maybe give it a happy ending, but I think this is better.

Anyway, reviews would be most helpful, as I haven't written in ages :


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